I had Dreams
by adrastea66
Summary: I'm bad at summaries so bear with me. Two years after Sasuke and Naruto fought each other and Naruto is left with an aching heart, believing Sasuke dead, and a bitter hatred for his former teammates, with the exception of Hinata. One day Hinata comes to Naruto telling she found his beloved raven.
1. Reminds me

This is my first fan fiction so be merciful!

I don't own any characters in Naruto the credit goes to Masashi Kishmoto.

xXx

It's been two years since the battle. I've led a semi complete life since then. My life hasn't really changed that much. At least not from the outside. I still go on missions, still eat ramen like it's the end of time, and I still goof off. To the outside world it seems I've made a complete recovery. Well I'm going to tell you this.

I haven't. There isn't a single part of me that's "healed".

I spent pretty much my entire life really with one person by my side. Sasuke Uchiha. He was my driving force. My everything. Even when he left to Orochimaru there wasn't a day he wasn't on my mind. I loved him. When he went insane I had to keep myself from falling with him. I told him if we fought we would die together. I meant it. I know he must have felt the same. His eyes betrayed any emotion he had tried to keep hidden.

-Flashback-

It was an exhilarating battle. Like the kind only my dear Uchiha could bring me. The way our souls connected with each clash of our weapons, in a flurry of emotions, no outsider could have possibly followed our attacks. It was a dance. Sasuke moved swiftly and gracefully like a skilled dancer. The way his hips moved and jerked. I found myself in a trance. Adrenaline pumping through my veins likes a drug. Then there was a blast. I had a startled, angry look on my face. 'Who the _hell_ thinks it's perfectly fine to stop my dance with Sasuke'. Sasuke looks as pissed as I do. Sasuke and I shared a perplexed gaze. A bright flash. Afterwards I watched as Sasuke's form disappears in a blinding light. We both reach out trying to grasp each other's hand. 'No!' my mind screams, 'neither of us is supposed to die apart'.

By the time I come back to consciousness I'm laying down on a mat. I can see Sakura leaning over me she's trying not to cry. 'Sasuke. Where's Sasuke!' I look around and see everyone with happy grins plastered on their faces. 'SASUKE' I want to scream, tell everyone to stop smiling, but I can't speak. My throat burns but I still try my best to speak. A hoarse croak escapes my lips. Sakura gasps and tightly hold on to me, "_oh! Naruto! I'm so glad you're alive. I thought your fight with…with..._Him…_was going to lead to you dying!" _

By now everybody is huddled close around us. "_I'm so happy you didn't die too" _No. "_Who knows what it would have been like if you had died with Sasuke!" _No! You're all lying to me. I look up from Sakura's shoulder. Everybody looks worn out from the war. My heart goes out to my friends until I realize something. _Their smiling. _Not just about me being alive. Me being alive and Sasuke finally having died. They wanted him to die. My heart fills with an anger I have never known. All of my 'friends' are so _happy._ The happiness plastered on their faces is unbearable and unforgivable. None of them care that one of their closest friends is dead. Wait. No. only one person has a sad look on her face. Hinata. Even today the only person who understands my love for Sasuke and hatred for the people I used to call friends is Hinata.

I say nothing to the people around me. I am brought some water to clear my throat. They all look at me expectantly. I grin the fakest grin of my life, "I'm pretty happy to be here too! Heh!" they nodded excitedly at every piece of bullshit I feed them. The words I'm spewing tastes like bile. The next two years are a blur. I'm nothing inside. I'm dead and have to force my body to show any emotion. The only person I can cry to is Hinata who has distanced herself from everyone. We became close but I didn't fall in love with her. She's told me that she only sees me as her younger brother now. All romantic feelings behind her. I'm fine with that. All missions I go on are solo and if someone insists I be accompanied, namely Sakura, I go with Hinata.

Bottom line my heart has shattered and even though Hinata is beside me I can't put the pieces back together and move on. Sakura and Kakashi may have been able to move on but I can't. Moving on means forgetting and that is something I will _never_ bring myself to do. No matter how much pain the memories cause me. I enjoy the pain. It tells me that everything that happened was real. Nothing fake could cause me so much pain.

All the nightmares that woke me in the dead of night. All the pain I've inflicted on myself. Every silent tear I've shed. It tells me team 7 actually did happen. The chunin exams actually happened. I did go to the academy. I did meet Sasuke Uchiha. We did have friends. I used to take pride in myself. I used to argue with Sasuke and he used to snap back. My smiles used to be real. My happiness was not an illusion. My soul used to be alive. I used to dream.

A/N Thanks for reading…I know it was really bad…but the next chapter is when things take off! I mean it! Please review! If you actually liked reading this you're my new favorite person! Anyways...Review!


	2. The ravens back

A/N And so I continue with the second chapter! Enjoy reading! I don't own Naruto

xXx

Naruto POV

I woke up in a pile of sweat, my cheeks flushed, tears falling from my face. I shudder. Almost every night I'm plagued with nightmares. _Sasuke._ His face. It's impossible to erase. I wipe my tears and gaze out my bedroom window.

"I wonder if it's possible he's not" I have to swallow the lump forming in my throat, "dead".

_Could he be watching the same full moon I am tonight? Could he be wishing he was by my side like I do? Stop. Stop now Naruto. _ I grip at my shirt as my heart begins to break for the millionth time. I want to scream. I want to scream so loud everyone's ears begin to bleed. I want them to bend and cry from the same agony I feel. _Stop right now._ What's the use? None of their pain could possibly bring my raven back into my reach.

_Don't think. Just react. Abandon all the emotions. Leave all this so called, "living" to me. Forget. _

My mind spins as the same voice I've been hearing for two years makes another appearance. I'm tempted. God knows I'm so close to just accepting its offer. I just. I just can't do it. Every time I try to answer, I just….I don't know. I don't know what keeps me from forgetting. I always see flashes of Sasuke right before. How life used to be.

I really wish Hinata were here. Sadly though, she had to go on a mission so she won't be back until tomorrow. It's fine though. I get up to go drink some milk and wince as my bones crack. Halfway to the kitchen the door to my house swings open scaring the crap out of me.

I'm about to start cursing but I'm smart enough to hold my tongue. Thank god I do. It's Hinata.

She may seem like an angel but ha! No. when it comes to attitude she gets as bad as my mother would. It's scary. Ah shit sorry reader got off track there anyways back to the present. She literally burst through my door and her face was pale white. Paler than usual. I would be extremely worried (I am…err well I was) if she didn't have a smile spread across her face. It made her look younger. Our constant somber look had brought some extra age upon us. We were so constantly sad that her smile startled me more than the fact that she was back already. Witch begged the question.

"What are you doing back so early?" She looked me in the eyes and started to explain but stopped and gripped my wrist tightly. Did I mention she has a wicked grip? Her smile widens, "I'll just show you instead"

-An hour later-

Hinata had led me towards a secluded area in the forest surrounding the village. Nobody ventures out here. Ever. I had an unsettling feeling when I realized this was where she was taking me. "h-Hinata wh-" she cut me off with a harsh shush. _Yes my queen your manservant won't say a word._

I spot a cabin that I suppose is our destination. Okay no. I'm confused. Why is Hinata dragging me to a weird cabin in a secluded area? Okay so what I'm about to do is stupid I get it. I can't help it though.

"NOOOOOOO" I scream "I DON'T WANT TO! Hinata, Hinata, Hinata, please no I don't see you that way" she turns around and just stares at me. "Naruto-kun I love you like my own brother and all but I don't understand what you're…" her voice drifts and eyes widen as she realizes what I was screaming about. She punched me in the face. Yea I told you. Scary. "Follow me Naruto-kun we need to go" and she turns to her original path. A hand to my now swollen cheek I silently follow behind.

We reach the cabin around an hour later. We hear a loud thud, "Gah! Shit!" I can hear a strangely familiar voice from inside. For some reason it grades on my nerves. Hinata begins to open the door but I stand frozen. "Hinata be serious with me. Who is in that cabin?" She just smiled and motioned me to come in.

I walk into the small cabin and immediately catch a bit of a sent that always sent shivers down my spine. My heart stops beating. _It can't be._ It's not possible that it's…No. I look around franticly. I see some movement in a small dark corner of the cabin. I stare. Suddenly head full of raven colored hair rises. A creamy white face turns towards me and stares back. The room is silent. Time seems to be at a standstill. My heart begins to race and I can feel a small smile begin to tug at my lips.

"Sas….Sasuke?" I can feel one the steel strings used to protect my now hardened heart snap. "Please gods tell me it's really you!" I can feel tears threatening to fall.

A smirk forms on the lips of the majestic being staring back at me. My legs threaten to give in.

"How's it been dobe?"

A/N and so chapter two comes to a close… right? Hope you liked reading! Please review! They make me happy. Almost as much as a little kid getting a teddy bear or a hobo eating a mango for the first time. Oh! Thank you starsmoon1981 your one review made me get of my butt and start the next chapter. Thank you!


	3. Proof

Hey next chapter hope you like reading it! I don't own Naruto. It's all on Masashi Kishmoto.

A smirk forms on the lips of the majestic being staring back at me. My legs threaten to give in.

"How's it been dobe?"

I have to stop myself from collapsing right there. My heart is beating madly in my chest, I'm sure Sasuke can hear it. I want to cry. Something is holding back my tears though. I speechless, though, I want to say something. _Say something._ I scream this in my mind._ Naruto Uzumaki say something now. _

Sasuke gets up from where he was crouching and walks towards me. The moon illuminates his beautiful pale face making it glow. _Like an angel. _I can feel my face heat up. I've needed him for two years. I've _yearned _to just see his face, feel his skin, hear his voice. Now he is here. Standing in front ofme and I can't think of a thing to say to him.

I can see him standing here before me, but what if it's not really him. What if I've gone insane? I need to feel him. He needs to show me he's really here. I need the proof. Some kind of proof it's my beloved raven come to save me from the clutches of depression and insanity.

I wonder if he can sense the emotional breakdown I'm on the verge of having, because he started to chuckle.

_Sasuke. Chuckling? I'm seriously confused._

"Dobe you shouldn't stand around with that stupid look on your face, I mean," he looks to the side reminding me that Hinata is here, " You don't want Hinata to think you're an idiot too?" Hinata stands straight at the mention of her name, "Oh- I'm sorry I'll go leave you two alone" she's gone before I can even realize what her absence will mean.

_I'm here. Alone with Sasuke. My raven and I are alone in the middle of the night in a dark cabin. _I have to stop myself before I can even start on the very indecent thoughts I'm capable of.

"Dobe hey", Sasuke's voice snaps me out of my trance; "you haven't said a word since you saw me." Now I can see a flash of pain in his eyes, "do you really hate me that much." He said it to himself but I caught it.

My heart sinks. He thinks I hate him? Why? I love him. I can't even imagine actually hating Sasuke. It would hurt too much. "How could I hate you I lo-o-o-ah-ahahaha. Sasuke I don't hate you. Why would you think I hate you? Ummmm?" I'm stuttering. Mind you I may have admitted my love for Sasuke to Hinata and myself, but that's it. Not once have I told him.

I try to think of something to say to him. He's giving me that weird look. Oh no. He might catch on. C'mon Uzumaki think quickly. Think! He's onto me! Nope, Nope, Nope. I'm so not prepared for this. Think damn you think!

"So Sasuke nice weather we're having tonight huh?" first thing I do. Talk about the weather. I think I'm an idiot and I know he thinks I'm an idiot too. I can see it; he's giving me a look. I know he's about to feed me my two years worth of sarcasm, but then his eyes widen. _Cats out of the bag. No! Bad cat! Get your furry butt back in that bag! _He's smirking. He's walking towards me. I stiffen getting myself ready for the rejection I'm about to experience. I know I'm gay but I've always assumed Sasuke was straight as a pole. He reaches out his arms. Oh so he's going to beat me up to? Bring it Uchiha! His arms wrap around me tightly.

Okay so it took me about a minute to figure out what was happening. _Sasuke Uchiha. He's hugging me. _A sudden shiver goes through my body when I feel his breath tickle my neck. He's gotten short or I grew. His lips brushing against my skin; I can feel my face heating up. _His heart. It's racing. _His hands begin to wander up and down my back, and I can hear his erratic breathing. I look down at his exposed skin. _It looks so soft. I wonder. _

I press my lips to his neck and feel him squirm a bit in our embrace, but then calm again. Slowly I slip out my tongue tasting his skin. I can hear him moan in my ear.

This is the proof. That's all I needed. The skin contact. This is the proof I needed to show me I wasn't hallucinating. For the rest of the night we proved just how much skin contact could prove.

Thank god Sasuke wakes up earlier than I do. I would have died of embarrassment if Hinata had walked in on our butt naked sleeping bodies. Sasuke had clothed himself first, then seeing how he couldn't wake me up he settled for putting my clothes on me for me. If he hadn't clothed me Hinata would have walked in on a very naked, very embarrassed blonde. She came in with everything from my home which wasn't as much as you would think. The past two years I had thrown out pretty much everything in anger. The only thing I kept was my bed, of course, and my beloved picture of former team 7. So safe to say there was no back breaking labor for Hinata. Still one question remained. Why did she bring my things?

She looked very happy, "Naruto I spoke with lady Tsunade, and she said you could retire to the forest. Undisturbed by anyone. If you need any food supplies you could get some from the village." Then she gave me a slip of paper. On it was an address. "If you need any money it will all be here in this place." I looked at her, with a blank look on my face. "Naruto you are now free to live a life away from the people you hate. You and Sasuke can live wherever you want without being suspected by anyone, and if you want, you can travel wherever you want." She looked to Sasuke now, "If you ever need some help with something come to me."

I couldn't resist hugging her. I was so happy. No happy isn't a good enough word for this. "Thank you Hinata, you really are a wonderful person." She smiled at me and left as fast as she had come in. I looked to Sasuke who was still in shock.

"Naruto…?" he had his confident look back on his face.

"What's up?" he has a determined look and I know why.

"What happened during our fight?" the one question that's been plaguing my mind for two years. "I have no idea." We share a knowing look, "I have an idea of what I want to do with my new freedom, how bout you Sasuke?" he just gives me his trade mark smirk. For the first time I can feel an excited smile creep up on my lips.

A mission. With my raven colored angel.

How exciting.

Sooo yup that's the end of chapter 3 hoped you liked it. Sorry if the ending was a bit rushed I was getting sleepy with all the work I've had to do. Any ways please review. PLEASE REVIEW! LOOK *OFFERS A BOWL OF GUMMY BEARS* I HAVE GUMMY BEARS! IT'S YOUR'S IF YOU REVIEW! (oh and I don't know if I should leave it there or not. If you want a fourth chapter please says so in the reviews)


	4. His Past

Sorry I haven't updated recently guys! ***Bows repeatedly*** Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! I've been really busy with school and…. well yeah, school. But this little insomniac stayed up just for you guys. **THE RATING HAS CHANGED TO M DUE TO THE CONTENT OF FUTURE CHAPTERS.** So here we go.

Oh and before I forget: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishmoto does.

It's been a few weeks since we decided to find out what happened during our fight two years ago. A few weeks. Five to be exact. Do you know what Sasuke and I have been doing?

Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. I know, how productive are we. Hinata's come and gone throughout the weeks to check up on us. Apparently she's being bombarded by the others (Sakura and Sai) with questions over my disappearance.

I don't care that I've left them in the dark. I hope their haunted at night over worries for me. I can't help myself from snickering at the thought of any of my former teammates freaking out over me. In fact small snickers turns into full-blown laughter.

"Dobe, hey, what's so funny over there" Sasuke calls to me from across the room. His dark black hair is so messy it's just…alluring… I skip across the room to be by his side and mess with his hair. " Nothing just imagining some hairless apes running around in panic" He smirks his trademark smirk and wraps an arm around me "Naruto," ah my goodness the way he rolls the r, "when did you become so hostile to your comrades?" I pull at a particular piece of hair that stands out " When I figured out how douche-y they are" I plant a small kiss on his cheek and watch as a small blush forms on his face.

My smile's large, Sasuke can be so cute sometimes I swear. I throw my body down on the bed next to us and stretch. "ne~ Teme, as much as I love being here with you all day… all night, I wanna go outside" His smirk falters, 'ah this thought isn't apparently well received by Mr. almighty Uchiha'

"What, what's wrong? Didn't you want to leave a few weeks ago to find out what happened during the fight between us?" He still has a frown on his face " I…I just don't want to leave this place" he closes his eyes as if to think for a moment.

They snap open again and he has his smirk back before throwing himself on top of me "Ehey – Teme get off your heavy!" his legs wrap around me, he's got a strong hold on me now. "No." is all I get out of him. "ugh c'mon" I wriggle about until he slips onto the floor me falling on top of him, he's still wrapped around me.

"Sasuke c'mon get off your heavy" he bites my shoulder. Okay someone's sensitive about their weight. I move a free hand to his neck and hear him breath in sharply. His skin is so soft it's intoxicating. I move my hand up and into his hair. I begin to massage his scalp as a soft moan escapes his lips. I move to kiss him when I feel a long bump in his scalp. Like a scar, but I hadn't felt it before. He tenses and moves away from me. "S-Sasuke, what?" before I can even ask there's a soft knock at the door.

"Guys? Are you decent?" it's Hinata's; "yeah we're good" I call out as I rise to my feet. Sasuke just climbs onto the bed and buries his face into the pillow. She opens the door and walks in with a box.

" Here is some food to last you two the week or two, honestly though, I think it would be good to get out once in a while at least" I smile while taking the box from Hinata, "Mhm, I'll pass that on to sir antisocial over there, but first, can I talk to you in private, outside?" Sasuke raises his head from the pillows for a second before colliding with it once more. I step out the door and motion for Hinata to follow me.

Once we're outside and I'm sure Sasuke's not listening I ask, "Hey, Hinata, where did you find Sasuke?" Her eyes widen a bit and she purses her lips. "Hinata, neither of you tell me where he was when you found him, and today I found a scar in the back of his head."

She got even paler than usual, "N-Naruto-kun, I don't know If it's my p-place t-to tell you…I-I" I grab her shoulder and give her my most pleading look, "Hinata please you have to tell me" She looks to the side, before meeting my pleading look. "I'm sorry Naruto"

Sasuke's POV

No. I refuse. Hell no. I love Naruto to pieces but I know him. He want's to know about the scar. Like hell I'd let him find out. Every thing that happened to me after the battle, it's disgraceful and revolting. I'm glad Naruto knows nothing of the black market trade. If he knew about the slaves I'm sure he'd have figured it out by now.

After the fight I woke up weak, unable to speak. My body was burning and it felt as if there was a person beating me down with a hammer. I couldn't move, let alone defend myself. It hurt to blink, breath, it just hurt.

I couldn't see where I was but I was assuming it was grassy. There was a sudden pain in my wrist and I swore I could hear a voice. He was saying something. I tried to cuss at him and scare him away but my voice was hoarse and it hurt to move my lips.

This person, whoever it was dragged me away by my wrist and it hurt like living hell. I must have passed out again because the next time I awoke I was healed but my hair had been shaved and they were branding me. Branding me a slave. And not any slave, the worst kind. They were branding me a slave to be used for the sexual pleasure of others. I was a sex slave. I can't let Naruto know that.

The fear of him leaving me is too much. The fear of his look of disgust. I already hate myself for even touching Naruto.

The only one to know of what I was is Hinata, because she found me while on a mission. She found me and saved me. She healed me and brought me the one person I need to keep me alive. I owe her and know she wouldn't tell Naruto. No matter how much he begged. I love Naruto and that's why I can't let him know my disgusting sin.

I can't let him know he's in love with a whore.

A/N: Yup so there's chapter four. Again, I'm sorry for not updating sooner I was just really busy with school. It got a little weird towards the end…sorry for those of you who were excited for the mission. THEY WILL GO ON THE MISSION I SWEAR! I swear they will at some point but I think a little character development before hand would be nice. So please review. Artistic criticism is always welcome. I look forward to reading what you guys have to say so review away! Look ***HOLDS OUT OREOES AND GUMMYBEARS*** I bribe you with sweets, yes? Oh and yes the rating has changed to M just putting that out there again.


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